“Black Girl Stuff” season two has been jam-packed, from exclusive celebrity interviews to heartfelt segments all season long. As always, today’s (May 17) installment featured the panel consisting of “BGS” hosts Britt Hall, Tori Brixx, Brii Renee and resident correspondent Kennedy Rue, who were also joined by Reginae Carter. This week’s episode also featured in-depth conversations about one of the biggest trends in dating, appearances from guests such as Kountry Wayne and Derrick Hayes, alongside deep conversations about Black men and mental health.
As always, you can catch “Black Girl Stuff” every Tuesday at 9 p.m. ET on the REVOLT TV channel and every Wednesday at 2 p.m. ET on the REVOLT website here, YouTube channel, and app. Get into the episode recap below.
1. In Due Time or No Time?
To kick off the episode, the ladies dove into the comments to discuss the “tradition” of some men staying in relationships for years, leaving, and then marrying a new woman within months. One social media user said, “I’m gonna be real. Those women that stick around for all those years are just placeholders. That’s it. That is not that man’s dream woman. That man is appreciating the comfort and convenience that, that woman provides to his life.”
The ladies spoke openly about their experiences with this dating phenomenon. Hall said, “In life, you learn through your experiences. So I think, sometimes, it gets messed up because you’re dealing with somebody for a long time. And you’re learning off of them basically — like, this is what I like, this is what I don’t like. And I think that ends up happening — you kind of can become a placeholder, like, you’re staying with a man for a long time. He’s learning what he does and doesn’t like about you. And then he goes on a couple of months later, after y’all breakup, and goes with the next chick, and you like, ‘What the h**l?’ But really, it only happened because he learned from you. And I think men use women in that sense. And I think that’s messed up… I feel like you can kind of tell by a person’s actions, too. If it starts to become very materialistic or just all about the physical, then you’re not really into me. You’re using me for this time being until you move on to the next year.”
Carter also offered her two cents. She said, “So some people looking at placeholding as if like, you know, you’re benefiting off of them or they benefit off you. Like, say many celebrity relationships, I feel like they placehold each other to get up, or get on top or like a cloud chair. That makes sense. It’s a lot of industry relationships, where they go to the eight girls when it’s probably like a girl that they’ve been messing with for a long time.”
2. Kountry Wayne Joins the Panel
Kountry Wayne is no longer just a social media comedian. His career has involved into a plethora of other ventures, including his book, “Help Is on the Way, Stay Up and Live Your Truth.” He joined the ladies to talk about happenings in his career and much more.
When asked about the effects of losing his mom at an early age, he was honest. Wayne said, “You know, I always liked the girls from the streets because my mom was on the streets. So when I see them, I really see my mom. So I already knew. I just always wanted it. I just liked that. I just liked that type of woman… bringing a woman from there and bringing her with me, but you can’t bring them all. Can’t be with them all.”
Wayne was also asked if he feels unable to spend time with all 10 of his children equally. He said, “A little bit… just being realistic coming from where I come from, I don’t really feel guilty because everybody knows, we be talking like, ‘Man, you know we all from the streets.’ So something’s gonna grab you, you know, whether it’s drugs or, you know… I’m glad I’m where I’m at, so I’m glad I got a lot of them because it gives them a lot of chances to go be somebody.”
Wayne also talked about his transition from shooting comedy skits to doing Netflix specials. He said, “So yeah, for me, it was easier because I already had a life. So I had a lot to talk about… I had seven kids by the time I was 22, got a lot of brothers, sisters, you know, so I had an advantage because I already had a voice. I already had the content; I just had to learn how to be a comedian, and it was easy. It was an easy transition for real because it was a gift. It’s gon’ be that one. When that special drops, it’s gonna change the game for sure.”
3. Black Men and Depression
Former athlete Jay Burnett is now an outspoken advocate for mental health. He recently talked about depression on a podcast episode. He said, “I tell people depression doesn’t have a look. I’ve seen people have everything in the world, and go home and take their life. And you say, ‘Well, he was such a nice guy. He had everything.’ It’s the internal warfare and battles that you can’t see. Because think about it, life is one big masquerade party.”
Renee discussed her experiences with mental health growing up. She said, “According to an article in HealthCentral, one in 10 Black men are living with depression. But experts believe that many more may be struggling in silence. Now as a Black woman, y’all, I have to admit that I’ve often been told growing up, ‘Be strong, suck it up, keep going.’ You know, ‘Don’t let them see you sweat.’ And so, I’ve expected that from the Black men in my life and around me — I expect them to be stronger than me.”
Hall shared her thoughts. She said, “I feel like Black men are afraid to almost talk about depression in a sense because I think the judgment that comes with it, like, for a man to open up is already a lot because I feel like women naturally just let it go. We just spill it all out. It’s all there on the floor. But when a man talks about his emotions and all the things that he deals with on his day-to-day basis, it becomes something that he really has to internalize, he has to go to war with himself just to let it out. So I feel like a lot of times, men are afraid to let it go because of the judgement that comes with it. And I think that’s why a lot of them are dealing with depression — because they can’t express it to us, to people in general.”
The girls also discussed what signs to look out for if you feel your man may be depressed. Brixx said, “I feel like men sometimes act out, or they just start doing random things. And that may be a sign of ‘I’m going through something.’ And a lot of times, women can ignore a man’s emotions by not listening and actually seeing or paying attention to their men. But there’s another side of that, too, because there are times where we, as Black women, always have to nurse people back to health. And then it’s like I’m supposed to speak life into you. I’m supposed to also make sure you have food. So when you get home, all you got to worry about is making sure you got the money to pay the bills — you don’t got to worry about what you’re gonna eat, you got clean boxers to put on. I’m doing all of this, and I gotta help you mentally, our kids are straight, and I have to have energy to have sex. Because if I don’t, then you’re gonna get sexually frustrated, which messes with your mental as well. So I gotta be everything. And that can be exhausting.”
4. Derrick Hayes Joins the Panel
Derrick Hayes is the owner of Atlanta-based restaurant Big Dave’s Cheesesteaks, which is only growing in popularity each day. With several locations, business is booming for Hayes. He stopped by “BGS” to talk all about it.
When asked about what gave him the idea to begin Big Dave’s, the businessman spoke about his father. He said, “I lost my father in front of my face; he took his last breath. I’m sorry. But before he passed away, I had promised him that I was gonna get out the streets, I was gonna break out my generational curses, I was gonna do the right thing. And this was something that I believed in. And every time I wanted to quit, I thought about seeing him take his last breath. And that’s what got me here — that started the journey.”
Hayes continued, “So sometimes in life, we don’t understand that we go through so much, but it’s gearing us up for the big thing. And that was my purpose with this brand. Like, I tell people, big days may have gotten me here [and] that people know who I am, but my message is going to keep me there because I’m gonna keep on trying to motivate the men that look just like me and come from the community just like I did.”
Derrick Hayes has also been very open about his troubled youth. On that topic, he noted, “I got tired of failing. And I got tired of making excuses. I got tired of saying, ‘This my last time.’ You know, I’m saying, ‘I’m gonna get it together this time, I’m gonna do better.’ You start sounding like a broken record to yourself. It’s like when somebody’s telling you to believe in them — if you don’t believe in yourself, how you gonna believe in somebody else.”
5. Affirmations After Dark
During this edition of “Affirmations After Dark,” the girls discussed what true happiness looks like to them.
Hall said, “I think my version of happiness will be just having the freedom to make my own choices and decisions — and not out of fear… out of love. Loving myself internally so much that I just feel happy about what I’m putting forward. Because the external always looks good, we all look good outside, but I feel like what’s inside is what really carries you and, you know, explode your happiness out.”
Brixx talked about the importance of family. She said, “Happiness for me looks like family — I’m the happiest with them, and [it] doesn’t matter how far I get or what I accomplished… If I can’t share it with my family, then what? They’ve been there from the jump, they was who gave me the confidence, who was my backbone when I needed them, and I feel like I love running back and telling them, ‘Hey, I did this’… almost like I’m doing it for them, but it’s like us like, ‘We did it.’”