Shadiness is a conversational art in the Black community. It's a distinct form of charisma and sharp analysis, taking "reading between the lines" to snide levels. The artistry lies in the varying degrees of subtlety and cleverness a shady comment needs in order to sting, whether a pinch or a bite. We love a good read so much that we applaud celebrities like Rihanna for their savage, quick-witted comebacks, and watching people throwing shade on reality TV is pure entertainment. Frankly, an episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta is the perfect masterclass in a particular type of jab: polite shade, also known as "being nice-nasty."

Polite shade is sour-sweet, obscuring its true intent. Given its sly and backhanded nature disguised as a compliment, a novice might completely miss the insult. A tell-tale sign you're getting shaded is questioning if the offender meant it in how it came across. Sometimes, it's hard to decipher, but a few comments are almost always shady, especially from an elder. Check out the following nice-nasty sayings someone could sling at you — and be ready to quickly fire back with one of your own!

1. You’re better than me

Several scenarios can fit this phrase, but none of its uses imply that the person genuinely thinks you're superior. You can read this comment as "You're a fool."

When someone says, "You're better than me," it often means you're making a choice they disapprove of or wouldn't make themselves. On the surface, it can seem like praise for your courage and bravery, but in actuality, you're being judged. For example, mentioning to a friend that you're getting back with a partner who wronged you and getting this response is a clear sign they're critical of your decision. However, the remark also can be sincere, like when someone is impressed by your dedication to training for a marathon when they can barely run a mile.

2. Bless your heart

You should expect older Black women to pull out this classic Southern expression. While it sounds sweet and close to the church, it hints that you could use a dose of wisdom. In other words, they think your naivety is showing. You can assume that they believe you're not as sensible as you think and might even consider you clueless.

3. If you like it, I love it

Count on whoever says this to you not liking it or loving it at all. In fact, they hate it. However, they don't feel it's their place to interfere, so they've feigned admiration to save face and avoid ruffling your feathers.

People often say this when they dislike something more permanent in your life, like a major purchase or a significant change, like buying a home or quitting your job.

4. I didn’t know that’s how you get down / I know how you like to get down

Either iteration of this phrase may imply an underlying judgment about your behavior and lifestyle. If you're at the bar buying a drink for a friend and ask what kind of liquor they want, and they say, "Whatever's on the house, I know how you like to get down," they're indirectly calling you cheap. This phrase is a way to suggest your habits don't align with their preferences. In some cases, they might be genuinely attempting to be considerate of you, but that’s still shady.

5. I see what you were trying to do there

An acknowledgment that while you likely had good intentions, your execution didn't quite hit the mark. It's not necessarily an insult, but the conversation could have gone without it since an “I see what you meant” or “I feel you” would’ve sufficed.

6. That’s cute…for you

This one relates to fashion, but any statement that ends with a pause and a "for you..." is definitely shady. While this implies someone feels superior to you somehow, not every instance of this phrase is meant to create offense. Sometimes, it's just a way of acknowledging differences in personal style or preferences, but other times, it's a dig at your choices. It’s akin to “If you like it, I love it.”

7. I could never pull that off

Whether it's your hair, outfit, makeup or something else, this phrase is a sarcastic jab at your appearance. It suggests the person might think your style is overdressed, underdressed, or unappealing. While you may initially interpret this as a warm compliment, remember that polite shade is about more than words themselves — it's the fact they're drawing attention to your style in the first place.

8. Do you

"Do you" carries an undertone of hostility. Maybe you've been arguing over a decision with this person, and they're saying this to hammer in their point and move on. Obviously, they disagree with you but want to exit the discussion or change the topic. They aren't expending any more energy on it and want to make that clear. You might hear this comment a few times if things are really heated.

9. Well, look at God! / Won’t God do it!

While it's common for people to express gratitude for God in the wake of good things, this carries a bit of skepticism. It may go over your head initially, but the saying implies that the outcome was so surprising or unlikely that it couldn't have happened without a miracle and divine intervention. This packs an even more spiteful punch when someone has a history of mistakes and bad decisions.

10. If that makes you happy, go for it

If someone says, “If that makes you happy, go for it,” they disapprove, but support you in pursuing your choice. It’s their way of masking judgment but letting you know it’s a questionable decision.

11. Isn’t that something?

To them, it’s not something. They’re surprised by how unimpressive your achievement or news is, disguising their genuine disinterest with insincere admiration. Perhaps they don’t believe you or are simply a pessimistic person. Though what you’re saying might be true, it’s not significant enough to warrant much attention or excitement from them.

12. You’re smart, you’ll figure it out

This is another statement that implies that someone is tired of giving you advice or doesn't want to revisit the situation you’re in. Instead of directly saying, "I'm tired of hearing about this," this phrase gently reassures you of your own abilities while shifting the responsibility off their shoulders. It's a way of stepping back from the conversation while expressing confidence in your problem-solving skills.

13. Aw, look at you doing big things!

If someone says this to you, you’re being praised with a side of sarcasm. This comment indicates that what you're doing isn't impressive to this person, yet they’re happy you’re doing something at all. With their cunning, subtle read, they're actually downplaying the significance of your efforts and achievements. In this situation, there’s no doubt you’re on the receiving end of some saucy shade.